The last couple of weeks have been very testing! I became ill on the Sunday, I’ll be honest, I’d been out the night before with some very bad influences and I initially thought it was a hangover sent by the devil himself. I’d never had a hangover so bad, I thought I’d become a total lightweight and wasn’t going to survive the day! (Not that I’m dramatic at all.) When I woke up the following day with a raging fever and still feeling just as bad as the day before, I realised I was actually ill. Being ill on your own with kids is NOT fun. I literally couldn’t function. By Thursday I was in hospital and the kids Dad stepped in and had them for the next week whilst I got better.
What’s even worse than being ill on your own with kids? Just being ill on your own! There was one point when I was crawling to the bathroom to fill up my glass with water and I just had a total mental breakdown. This is the first time I’ve ever been on my own when I’ve been really poorly in my life and it is utterly miserable. I cried a lot. I got dehydrated a lot because I didn’t have the energy to get a drink. I lost weight because I didn’t have the energy to get food. Mostly though I felt very alone. When you’ve been married and spent so long with someone you just get used to having someone else there. Forgetting the relationship side of things, just having someone who will be in the house and spot that you aren’t coping and just instantly pick up the pieces, get you a drink, get your tablets, make sure you’ve had a piece of toast. You forget about all of that when you first split up with someone as you think about what you’ll miss from the relationship side of things, never mind just cohabiting. I literally felt like I was flying solo and, again not being dramatic, realised that I could die and no one would know for a couple of days and that freaked me out! My poor friend got the brunt of it when she sent me a message seeing how I was feeling and I spent the next half an hour whinging to her about how crap my life was!! Thankfully my parents got back from Spain a week later and did daily food, vitamin and Lucozade drops and checked I was still alive!
It took all of this to realise how lonely it can get though. Life is so busy when you’re a parent that you don’t have a second to think, so when everything suddenly stops and is out of your control, it really does feel like you’re up the creek, with one paddle, going round in circles.
It was a really bad couple of weeks but I am now thankfully feeling a lot better, I got the kids back last Thursday, managed to leave the house for the first time on Saturday and take them to the cinema, the park on Sunday which entailed it’s usual disasters when you have a feral child of wellies coming off in muddy swamps, trips back to the toilets to wash mud off hands and faces when they’ve face planted in the filthiest part of the park, rescuing from swamps where they’re sitting and crying after yet another fall and then explaining to them on the walk back to the car why they’re having to now wear their wet wellies with no socks because you’d told them 7 million times to stay on the sodding path! All whilst wrangling 2 dogs, one who is fat, old and arthritic and one who is like Tigger on speed and chases everything that moves.
Today is my first day back to work, I’ve worked out I make absolutely no sales when I’m not pushing it on social media so I have 2 weeks worth of sales to catch up on, prepare to be bombarded on the Facebook and Instagram pages!
Normal disorderly service has been resumed!
Lynsey @ Lulibelle xx
PS Messages are still coming in from people about my previous blogs. I love hearing from you all, keep them coming, we’ll get through this together! xx