I wrote this blog last week…and before I had chance to finish it, there was a surprise arrival! I would now be 37 weeks, and I already have a 1 week old bundle of deliciousness named Benny. Welcome to the family little man.
Now I think it’s only right that i share my thoughts on my second pregnancy, before they become too distant a memory in a haze of feeding and sleepless nights. So here’s my final pregnancy reflections, before I was a proud mummy of two.
Second pregnancy versus first pregnancy: My honest experience.
Now I’m 36 weeks pregnant, and very nearly there, I’m looking back over the past weeks and wondering how this pregnancy was different from my first. It has certainly been different in so many ways – for one thing, I’m a mum now and I wasn’t before! That makes me a different person, with a different outlook and a lot less time! When I was pregnant with Teddy I knew exactly how many weeks and how many days I was. I knew what size the baby was and what development milestones there had been during each week. I used to read the same information numerous times in books and every website I could find – just to devour all the knowledge I could about this little person growing inside me. This time I have a vague idea how many weeks along I am, but I don’t mind not knowing everything because I have that comforting feeling inside me and I know all is well and that’s all that matters.
Telling friends and family is still a joy and pleasure, but you do get the odd look of ‘are you sure you want to do this again’ ‘so soon?’ ‘it’s 10 times harder with two you know’. And you know that they are right this time, because you actually know what it’s like to have a baby. The most amazing, rewarding and most challenging thing you will ever do. I distinctly remember thinking just after Teddy’s birth, well I won’t be doing that again. And here I am!
All that stuff
Digging out all the baby things is a little overwhelming – did I really need all these things! And it’s so disappointing to find you put stuff away with baby sick on it. Well, you were a new mum! First time around you kept everything pristine, and brand new, with a place for everything and everything in its place. And this time you need to give it a quick wipe and a dust down, and find somewhere, anywhere for it to live. In fact where’s the new baby going to sleep?!
Take it easy
First time around people would fuss and say ‘don’t lift that, you’re pregnant’. And you’d accept gratefully and put your feet up and chill for a bit. This time, you lift a heavy toddler numerous times a day and no-one bats an eyelid. What’s that all about?!
Being really honest this time around some of the eating and drinking rules have gone out of the window (a few of them went out the window first time around too!). I reckon if the odd sip of wine and caffeine boost is good for me or actually essential on some days, then it must be good for baby too right? Well that’s what I tell myself! Common sense, moderation and instinct have taken over from prescriptive rules. Common sense and instinct are what taught me how to be a mum, so I might as well make the most of these special skills while pregnant too. Rules and books certainly don’t have all the answers.
I remember first time round being desperate for my baby bump to appear so that I could show it off with pride. I had to wait ages, even at 20 weeks there was only a little mound to see. And then second time my bump popped out at about 10 weeks and I wasn’t ready for it! I was convinced I must be having twins, but it was just that my muscles and everything else gave up quite a lot earlier. Thank you muscles! So to make up for the disappointment in my muscles I indulged myself in more maternity clothes this time. No longer in denial about what actually happens to your body during your pregnancy, I wanted to feel comfortable from the start, rather than squeezing myself into my old clothes for as long as possible. Feeling more tired this time generally due to looking after a feisty toddler, it has been all the more important to look and feel good. Thank goodness for stylish maternity clothes at my fingertips.
The final bump photo, and the last photo as a family of four (that includes Jazzi dog, of course!)
The really great thing about second time, is that you just know. You know what it means this time. Not only are you creating another little person, who you will love more than you could ever have imagined, but you are growing a family: a little brother or sister. And just that fact is worth so much.
Teddy and Benny